I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
