went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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