He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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