drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
