He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
