If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
