im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm just crazy horny about you
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
