dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
