I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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