At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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