Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
