Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
