i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
