i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
