So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
