I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
