apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
