P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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