ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
