Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
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