I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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