thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to