I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on