duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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