Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
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And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
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I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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