Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
