i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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