I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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