I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
