Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
