i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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