You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well I just put wine in my tea
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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