No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
