Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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