I'm jealous of your bromance
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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