he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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