pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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