is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
