My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
