How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
