you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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