That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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