Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize