i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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