I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
