if you like me you must not know who I am
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
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I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
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nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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