Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
