I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
