I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am one with the molecules
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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