i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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