I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
