Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize