i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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