walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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