We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I could make wine with my vomit
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
