Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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