I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
