look no pants
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
