This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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