Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
