You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
