when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
