he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
