I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
