If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
This is my gift to your gina
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
