I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
