Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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