Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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