So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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